Ms. Louise

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            Androgyny: A Tale of Delicious Gender Blending

Chapter 1

                  It all seems so ordinary today, but during that time when i first met Kate; the politics of androgyny were considered radical and bizarre. The gender blurring and recasting of sexual roles was a painful transition for everyone and for a semi-normal man like me it could have splintered my psyche but for her, her wisdom, and her strength.

                  My journey from man to Androgyny ripped away at my soul and shattered a lifetime of preconceptions and expectations. i resisted Kate, tried to barter over who was responsible for what traditional roles and fought against the femininity in me that was screaming for release.

                  She laughed at me, threatened me, took control, and i melted to her strength. i was challenged to examine my notions of what exactly is ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’, and how that related to being a woman or a man in my eyes and in the eyes of others.

                  Then when her instructions were complete, when i’d been bullied and scolded, when i saw the freedom that awaited me, i accepted her as ruler and knelt to kiss her derriere in complete subjugation; i actually cried with happiness. But i’m getting ahead of my story.

                   It was 1978 a few years before the world was introduced to gender-bending pop idols like Prince and Annie Lennox, before Boy George assaulted the world’s senses by confusing the lines between male and female. It was almost a half-century away from Carly Fioriono running HP and our female Speaker of the house comfortably giving a male President a verbal bitch slap!

                  i had arrived at the Coliseum that morning early in anticipation of a good training run in preparation for The Cleveland-Revco marathon 6 weeks away. The 13.1 mile half-marathon had become a very popular event with close to 1,000 runners all tanned and trim and competitive.

                  Before the race everyone stretched and laughed while warming up and those interested in looking had a garden of bare legs and tight butts to enjoy. The skimpy costumes left nothing to the imagination and i had worn my favorite Dolphin brand outfit; green and gold vertical striped shorts and a green singlet. The horn sounded for people to find their starting spots and that’s when i saw her. She was in Dolphins too, her stripes red and white with a crimson singlet and her small breasts tightened down into a sports bra to prevent her nipples from chafing during the long race. i found her appearance, remarkable.

                  “6:45 pace?” i asked, and she nodded her head in agreement.

                  She was only an inch or two shorter than me and perhaps no more than twenty pounds lighter. i was racing fit at one sixty-seven.

                  i guessed she was a fitness instructor or professional chorographer what with that high butt and muscled thighs

                  “You look really fit,” i said, “like i could light a match on your skin.”

                  She smiled and mumbled thanks.

                  Kate had short thick strawberry blond hair, a jaw that was a little too big, and nose a little too crooked, a mouth far too wide.

                  “Mind if i pace with you?”

                  She looked at me fully for the first time, smiled, and answered: “Sure, if you can keep up”.

                  When the gun sounded the race started at a crawl like they all do except for those elite runners at the front of the pack. In a hundred yards things began to spread out at the end of the first mile we all had plenty of room.

                  i had dropped ten yards behind Kate when she put out her left hand and motioned me to join her. With some strain i picked up the pace and made up the distance between us.

                  “If your going to pace with me, i want you right here; twelve more miles with your eyes on my ass may piss me off’!"

                  i started to protest than stopped. She was too interesting, too intriguing. Kate spoke easily at this pace, while i was in oxygen debt and struggling and she seem to get a kick out of my discomfort.

                  “Are you sure distance is your race?” she asked laughing, “you usually only see bubble-butts like that on sprinters.”

                  “Hey!" i shouted back, “are you always this rude?”

                  She laughed again. “Relax Mary, don’t get your panties in a bunch, I’m just teasing.”

                  “i hate wise-ass broads,” i said.

                  But it was a lie. In fact i found her wit and intelligence mesmerizing and truth be told i was scoping out her ass when she ordered me to her side. i had been aware forever of some strange chemistry in me. Where society told me to be aggressive i was passive, when it demanded dominance i was compliant.  Instead of the logical mind of most men, i found myself thinking intuitively as women are supposed to do.

                  And now it seemed i had found a woman with a strange chemistry of her own and understanding her became an erotic and confusing algebra for me.

                  Half way through the race i whined, “i have to stop Kate; i have to pee really bad.”

                  “Me too,” then she pointed to a wooden area with a worn dirt path and followed me off the race course.

                  i stood half hidden by a tree while she squatted, pushed the nylon and cotton to one side, then released a stream of pale gold urine.

                  i turned my head to watch the beautiful mystery, but she scolded me.

                  “Typical voyeur man can’t help from watching while you hide your little cock behind a tree.”

                  i blushed with embarrassment and she laughed again, “Let’s go Mary, if you shake it more than three times you’re playing with it!”

                  We moved quickly back down the path and then right before leaving the woods she did it, she slapped my ass really hard, then giggled uncontrollably.

                   i knew my life would never be the same again!
 

Chapter 2

            The rest of the race was a joy! She set a fast pace for me to match and i surprised myself by keeping up with her step for step. Her cardio-vascular fitness was a level above mine so i carefully chose my words, concentrating on the task and let her talk.

            Kate was an instructor in anthropology at the local city college and a PhD candidate finishing up her thesis work. She was erudite, interesting, and above all more controversial than any women in my life. As we approached the finish line, i thought for a moment about sprinting to pass her up, to finish before her, then realized without her lead i would be four minutes behind in the pack.

            “You first,” i said as we approached the line, “i owe my time to you.”

            She smiled.

            We cooled down with a walk, drank water and juice to hydrate, and entered a tavern where a small party of runners was celebrating. i was introduced to some of her friends, a Lesbian couple, two cute boys holding hands, and another three more conventional couples. They were all tan and fit and i noticed immediately that the women all shared a common characteristic.

            Like Kate the women were attractive, but more handsome than beautiful or pretty in the traditional feminine sense. Each was muscular, small breasted, intelligent and outspoken. They were easy going, quick to smile, confident with their bodies and manners.

            The men all differed physically, but shared an apparent awe for the women in their presence, a respectfulness that confused me.

            One by one they left till only two remained; a black couple with extraordinary muscular physiques. We joked and laughed and drank a little more till they announced it was time for them to go, and as they were walking away Kate shouted to the woman, “Hey, behave yourself.”

            She smiled back, “You know me Kate, I’m always horny after a race,” then she patted her husband’s ass and put her arms around his waist.

            “Wow, what a day,” i said, “i loved your friends Kate, and i think you are really special. But what am i missing, i’m a little confused?”

            “Do you know Margaret Mead, ever read her works?”

            “Some in college, the classics, New Guinea and Samoa," i said.

            “Well there’s more, lots more, and many of us think of our selves as New Age women helping to create a new world system.

            Mead said, “Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.”

             “In our New Age culture that’s unacceptable.”

            “So are you feminists Kate, Lesbians, what?”

            “Yes, and sometimes yes, I’d much rather find my sexual pleasures in the arms of a caring woman or simply masturbating, than with a traditionally selfish man.”

            She continued cautiously.

            “Do you know anything about the physiology of a vagina?  Did you ever care to find out?  If you’re like most men the answer is no. If you’re like most men your cock is the primary motivation behind all your sexual pursuits and giving yourself to a woman for her pleasure and not yours is a totally foreign idea!"

            i sensed that she saw confusion in my eyes

            “The hetero couples you met today are in female-led relationships where the males are subservient to the stronger females."

            “Like slaves?” i asked, “like S&M stuff.”

            Kate smiled again, "Something like that, only without all the costumes and drama that you’ve probably seen at the gay leather bars.”

            i became defensive, “Are you saying I’m gay?”

            She asked how i viewed myself and i said i was a bisexual.

            Then she asked if that meant i was a homosexual without the courage of conviction and my eyes dropped down. i didn’t know how to answer.

            Mead also said, "Men have always been afraid that women could get along without them."

            “Many of us realize that we can!”

            “But we're different,” I protested.

            “Yes, i know, your little cock gets in the way of rational thought.” Now I must go.”

            She picked up the check and paid the bill, actually paid the bill! Then she walked me to my car.

            “Can I call you?” she asked, and my heart began beating so fast i’d thought i was having a stroke!

            “Kate, it’s strange, but i see so much of a man in you, and she reached down with her hand and stroked my cheek, “And I see the soft vulnerability of a woman in you, see ya bebe!”

Chapter 3

            She took me to her home the first time we met and showed me a library full of scholarly works on gender, sexual identity, and androgyny. Book after book existed on ancient Egypt and the almost mystical position women held in the ancient society that survived for eons. Others scanned the Middle Ages, India, and Asian cultures and scores of books discussed Gods from varied religions who combined both sexes, both genders.

            Kate questioned me; about what exactly was masculine or feminine in my mind, in the minds of peoples in different cultures and different times, and how those perceptions correlated with our identities, sexual, cultural, and social.

            i found it all stimulating. i found her stimulating.

            “In the 30’s radical females like Dietrich and Garbo wore men’s trousers and it was considered radical. Today all women wear trousers. Perhaps in some time you’ll be comfortable in a skirt.”

            i had to laugh, “i’ve always been found of kilts; i think i would be comfortable in a skirt.  i know i’m comfortable with you.”

            We began to see each often; we started to run together after work, stop for coffee, sometimes or a beer. Then one day half way through a seven mile run we stopped on a city street for a red light with our images reflected back at us from a plate glass window.

            “Look at us," Kate said, “From the neck down we’re almost identical.”

            i stared back at our reflection and had to agree with her. my hips and thighs were always big for man, my rump rounder, more female. Her shoulders were wider with toned muscled arms and those tiny breasts.

            “So what are we Kate, narcissists, some third gender?”

            “We are what we are,” she answered, "Come on, i’ll race you back.”

            She began a quick pace that i couldn’t possible match in the high heat and humidity of this summer night and by the time we got to her house i was exhausted and wringing wet.

            “i should shower, i have to reek,” i said, but she said no and told me to undress and kneel down as she sat on the couch fully clothed. It’s an odd feeling, being naked while another stays covered. i felt awkward, self-conscious.

            She raised one foot, then the other, and i removed her Adidas running shoes and the little footie socks that runners prefer if they prefer any socks at all.  Her feet were large as would be expected from a woman her size, sweaty wet, and pungent. i was strangely aroused.

            i massaged the instep and arch and she purred a little.  So i kneaded her ankle and heel then ran my fingernails over the instep and sole.

            i separated each toe, rubbed them softly, then lowered my face, sniffed deeply between each one, inhaled her scent. It was like an aphrodisiac, she saw my cock stand up and reached down to give it a little slap and send it scurrying away.

            “My pleasures, not yours,” she scolded, and i went back dutifully. When she saw a longing in my eyes, she nodded her consent and allowed my lips and tongue an honor I’ll never forget.

            But there was more.

            i sat next to her and she raised her arms so that i could experience yet another scent, another part of her, and i felt like an animal in rutting season. Her intoxicating odor caused a sexual tremor to ripple through my body. Her underarms were shaved, yet prickly and i ran my tongue over them wondering how my senses had been so dulled all my life.

            Kate put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me back to the floor then turned half on to her side and raised a leg to her chest. i stared, almost breathlessly at the little gully that was her crotch and lowered my head.

            My nose glided back and forth over and over and over, not daring to let my lips touch her. She was incredibly soft and monstrously fragrant. i don’t know what it was; sweat, pheromones, her natural sexual odor, probably a combination of them all. Whatever is was, i was learning an ancient tradition, potent and primeval.

            How could i have missed it my whole life, this new mystery, this intoxicating symbolism. i’d always had a natural tendency to respect the feminine. To confer on her a leading role was easy and natural, but this was a conscious journey into woman worship, a gorgeous capitulation to her feminine power.

            “Enough,” Kate finally said and stood up bringing me with her. i was tumescent again and she spanked my cock with the same result then put her arms around my waist pulled me very tightly to her body. i felt her hands on my back and buttocks stroking and squeezing then she kissed me with delicious soft lips.

            “Go home baby, go to bed and pleasure yourself. It may be months and months before I allow it again."

            i watched wide-eyed as Kate pulled down her running shorts and then her cotton panties. She was all i expected; a ruddy freckled complexion, wide hips and round thighs, and labia lightly covered with fine reddish-brown hairs.

            She rubbed the panties softly over my lips and nose. They were wet with her sweat from the workout and musky with her femininity.

            “Launder these and bring them back tomorrow,” Kate said. She turned me around and slapped my ass.

            “Be careful going home.”

Chapter 4

            The following evening after our training run Kate led me into the bathroom. She removed her shorts and panties then raised the toilet seat and stood straddling the bowl with a defiant look in her eyes.

            my eyes grew wide and my jaw felt slack as i watched her lower her right hand, part her labia, then deliver a strong lengthy stream of urine. She cocked her hips to direct the spray and except for the final few drops she was a perfect markswoman.

            i stared back at her fully aware of the politics of this intimate act then slowly gathered up a rag and detergent, dropped to my knees and sponged up her errant spray.

            “Women,” i declared, “Always making a mess, aren’t you?”

            Kate smiled down at me and i removed four squares of paper from a tissue roll, folding them neatly into a pad, and patted her dry.

            “Now, if you’ll excuse me,” i continued lowering the toilet seat and squatting down demurely.  i pressed my knees together lightly and deliver my own stream, a gentle musical rain compared to her thunderstorm. After we washed our hands she grabbed me tightly around the waist and i snaked my arms around her neck.

            “you’re a fast learner,” she said, “I like that."

            Then Kate kissed me, hard and urgent. i opened my mouth, felt her tongue exploring, demanding. She gripped my ass, pulled me closer so that our bellies and thighs were pressed together. i felt overwhelmed by her power and strength.

            i kissed her ear, nibbled on the lobe, whispered,  "Teach me Kate, make me what you want me to be, please!”

            She took my hand and led me out of the bathroom and down a hall into a small messy office full of scholarly books and other tools of work.  Kate removed an old wooden sorority paddle from a spot on the wall and pointed it towards me.

            “I won’t pamper you,” she said, “I won’t!  I’ve been disappointed before by men like you, men who said one thing and acted another; men who were unable to control their minds and their cocks.”

            Standing there like that with fire in her eyes she resembled an Amazon warrior so potent and powerful my legs actually trembled with equal portions of fear and excitement.

            We were both at root sexual beings and as i felt my cock throbbing between my legs.  i allowed my eyes to lower to that part of her anatomy and saw that she too was swollen and engorged. The outer lips of her sex were pouting and perfectly symmetrical forming a most divine oval and one that would become the center of my world in a very short time.

            i dropped to my knees and crawled towards her then lowered my lips to her feet and again kissed them fervently. But this time i positioned myself so that my head was very low and my buttocks raised very high in that same posture that most animals adopt when confronting a stronger far superior rival.

          She didn’t beat me that day.

i hadn’t earned a beating, not yet anyway!

Chapter 5

Our relationship became very intense and i began spending all my time with Kate and her friends, the couples i had met at the bar after the race.

The muscular black couple was guidance counselors at the city college where Kate taught and their names were Michele and Frank, although everyone referred to them as Mick and Fran.

Another couple was married instructors in the Sociology department, Stephanie (Stevie) and Bob (Bobbie). Everyone was professional, educated, fit, and fun to be with; i felt lucky to have met them all.

I asked a thousand questions about female-led relationships and they were all willing and eager to share their lifestyles. It was easy to see how happy they had all become especially the men. Gender geometry can be a confusing conundrum and i felt so stupid in their presence.

One day i asked, “But what’s really at the bottom of all this?”

Mick responded first, “you can’t handle the orgasm decision,” she said simply, “No man can.”

Kate added, "Woman find their sexual pleasures naturally and patiently while men’s sexuality is very basic sand very limited, like the rutting of forest animals. your tiny spurts are usually over within seconds and accompanied by fear and guilt, questions about potency and gender issues.”

“men have a need for humiliation and a deep desire to worship the Female, they always have," she continued.

“Women posses a Goddess sexuality and spirituality, her body is intoxicatingly erogenous. Historically in many cultures lovemaking is focused only on the Female. The male’s pleasures result from serving and giving release by the intimate act of oral sex. This ancient practice is called kamasutra tantra and it has to taught as the destructive male ego is destroyed.”

“It was just an experiment,” Mick added, “It started at the fall of Sappho’s temple on the Island of Lesbos, an experiment into Patriarchy. No one thought men could rule the world and of course they were correct.”

“We’ve let you boys lead the world into its sorry state,” Kate said, “But it’s over, in a generation or two you’ll all be on your knees, where you’ve always belonged.”

i continued reading late that night after Kate when to bed, about the four known tribes of Amazon warrior women and more about Goddess worship.  i walked into her office and examined the paddle behind the desk.  i had thought it was from a sorority but quickly noticed that no Greek letters decorated the blade.  

Instead the Female gender symbol existed, the mirror and comb of Venus, and along with that was the Goddess numeral displayed in a variety of symbols. The ancient five sided pentagram that celebrated the celestial journey of the planet Venus and the Roman numeral V, the picture symbol of the female pubic area.

 i felt gripped by a mysterious sexual power, realized i was to be beaten by her, beaten severely.  Then i would finally be received as Her sex slave, finally be allowed to worship at Her feminine temple.

Suddenly i felt her presence and turned around.

“It’s time,” i said, “It’s time i received my beating, time i knelt between your legs, lowered my face to your center, time i worshipped you.”

She responded quickly, “I’ll decide when it’s time, not you. And why are you pointing your silly cock at me so rudely.”

Before i could answer she had be by the ear and led me out of the room into the hallway, through the kitchen, and out the back door. i squealed the whole way and she said, “Be still, you whiny little bitch!”

When the icy spray from the garden hose hit me i felt myself shrivel, shrink to nothing, just a tiny thimble of manhood, and heard her haunting laugh.

Chapter 6

We spent a lot of time naked, Kate and i. We were both comfortable with our exhibitionism and she enjoyed exploring my body as fervently as she demanded that i learn every inch of her intimate feminine geography.

From the very start she made it clear to me that i would have to be completely reprogrammed.

“It will be very hard for you,” i recall her saying, “The only way I know is a prolonged training in teasing and denial. That will mean enforced periods of chastity for you that I’ll relieve with regularly scheduled prostate milking. Never forget that your concern is always for what’s between my legs and not yours.”

 “If you fail, I’ll whip you, or send you away, probably both,” she’d say and it struck me with fear and i vowed to obey every command.

She asked if she could shave me and i allowed it, secretly thrilled at the idea. When it was done and i was smooth her attentions increased, her hands were constantly on me, kneading, squeezing, stroking.  i felt like a sexual toy and loved how she had taken control over me.

When i stiffened she would slap my cock or squeeze it very hard till it shrunk always adding the admonition; “My pleasure, not yours, what’s between my legs is what’s important.”

Then she’d laugh at me, laugh at my agony!

Kate was the first woman i ever met who spoke freely and openly about her sex. She used words like vagina and labia and sometimes pussy or cunt and spoke of it in the third person as though it existed in a world apart from the rest of her, the way a man often refers to his cock.

“Do you realize,” she said, “That the clitoris is the only organ that exists solely for pleasure and no one ever mentions it?  If it were part of a man’s body that’s all we would ever hear about!"

We would make out for hours and when my hand drifted between her legs she would be dripping. i’d move my fingers from the bottom of the tulip up slowly never letting them rest for much more than a heartbeat; up between the velvety moist folds while her hips quivered slightly, up to the little rigid baton that would allow me to direct her symphony.

i’d make an ever widening circle changing the tempo while her breathing became ragged and her eyes closed. Allegro, lento, larghissimo, i made sure the beats changed with her mood till finally her thighs crossed, closed over my hand.

“That’s it baby,” she’d say, “Right there, oh yea.”

She was all warmth and pulsing blood, hot wet juices, her quivers became quakes then erupted into sparks of shadow and lights and psychedelic colors and then…. crescendo. 

Every time we were together, i begged her to replace my fingers with my tongue and she only answered, “Be patient, prove yourself to me, and show me you’re worthy.”

Then with an added measure of cruelty she’d tease me further, grab my wrist and raise my hand up, slide my fingers beneath my nose so that i was dizzy with her fragrance, sometimes even let me lick the sweet syrup and taste her.

Afterwards, i’d stand shivering and shriveling under the icy spray of her shower wondering how long i could hold out and Kate would watch me with a wry smile on her face.

Once while i was trimming her pubic hairs, i reached down between my legs to just touch myself, one tiny stroke, and she slapped me hard across the face. The look of terror in my eyes must have excited her; she did it again and left the room.

i remember crawling after her on all fours like a wounded animal begging, wailing, and promising never to do it again. In a matter of weeks she had reduced to me a trembling animal.

She stopped in the hallway and i remember marveling at how she resembled the statues of Venus i’d seen in the museums with wonderfully full womanly hips and buttocks. i did the only thing that seemed to make any sense, i wrapped my arms around her legs and pressed my lips to her warm round buttocks.

“i’ll never do it again,” i wailed and Kate reached back with one hand and grabbed the back of my neck very hard pulling my face rudely in between the cheeks of her ass so that my lips rested right up against the her anal flower.

“you better do some serious ass kissing,” she spat, and i puckered my lips and pressed them against her little temple of worship.

i can still almost taste the sweet and sour of her flesh and the overwhelming feeling of defeat in my belly.  i realized that this was where i would remain, perhaps forever, and felt far too comfortable.

When she arched her back and delivered an unspoken command, i moved quickly to gently tickle and rim the wrinkled oval then buried my tongue in the channel till she sighed.

That night i pampered her, treated her like a queen. Bathed her, massaged her feet, cooked and cleaned like a dutiful maid, nothing seemed to appease her.  In the bedroom she opened a dresser and removed a cotton flannel baby-doll and handed it to me.

As i pulled the top over my head, i was overwhelmed with her scent, the same fragrance i’d masturbated with the first night when she gave me her panties and gave me the permission to release. i stepped in to the panties and pulled them up high on my legs so they cupped and caressed my bottom hoping with all my heart that i was forgiven, that she was dressing me for bed, dressing me for sex.

But Kate threw a pillow and thin blanket into the corner and pointed.

“There,” she said, and i cowered against the wall in a fetal position scared to defy her, excited at her dominance.

When the lights went out, i trembled like a beaten animal, heard the drawer of her night stand open, then suffered through an agonizing buzzing that accompanied her moans.

i remembered Meads quote, about men fearing that women could get along without them. Of course, i couldn’t speak for mankind, but i knew i was scared to death!

Chapter 7 

            Slowly she began to change and become more demanding as my training and my transformation continued. i studied continuously from her library and was always shocked at how dim witted i had been my whole life, how dull my senses were to reality. The evidence was everywhere in ancient scrolls, cave paintings, prose and poetry from every generation and every region of the earth.

            It didn’t matter if it were Africa or Asia, India or Cambodia, Hellenic society or Victorian. The story was written. It was written in Hebrew and Hieroglyphics; it was scratched on to papyrus and carved into the wet walls of hidden caves. It was written and its truth came to me in a staggering moment of clarity. Men throughout history have prostrated themselves, recognized the Female as superior, and lowered their lips to dainty precious feet and toes, begged for the privilege of worship.

            The drawings from the ancient books shattered my soul. There were pictures of men in bondage with welted backs and swollen bottoms at the feet of conquering Warrior Women in leather tunics and metal breastplates. They had to suffer for the privilege of service and then i realized how i must suffer too and the notion was so moving and erotic that it made my cock and nipples swell.

            i turned the page of the last text and slowly trembled at the drawing of a man buried to his neck on a beautiful beach, only his head remained above ground and a Celtic Woman Warrior squatted over him with one hand parting her labia and a stream of urine spilling into his eager mouth. She was wide hipped with full muscled freckled thighs and a wry smile on her androgynous face. my mouth opened, my jaw felt slack and weak, the resemblance to Kate was undeniable, and little doubt that the boy, the boy who was happy to be her urinal, was me.

            But why, how, had we been reincarnated?

            Had i failed her once and been granted a second chance to prove myself and be given the opportunity to worship at her delta?

            i walked softly into her bedroom and watched quietly as the soft light from a full moon bathed her in a buttery glow. She was sleeping in cotton t-shirt and panties and the soft thin fabric clung to her every curve, accentuated her sweetly rounded breasts and strawberry nipples, and brought the petals of her flower to an arousing prominence that caused my heart to beat so rapidly, i feared death. Her arms and legs were opened in splendid abandon, muscles relaxed yet still toned, soft skin, the hollow of her collarbone, a pearl of sweat here or there that screamed for an eager tongue.

            i wanted to reach out and stroke her muscled belly, run my hands over her tiny breasts, tweak a nipple to arousal then take the berry between my teeth.

            She awoke and smiled, “What is it baby, you look scared.”

            “i love you Kate and i am scared, scared to death.”

            She held out her arms to me and i snuggled into bed at her side against her warm luxuriant softness.

            “I’m taking you away this weekend to a retreat baby. It’s a beautiful wooded park named “Stella Cadente” or “Fallen Star”. you’ll meet other couples like us, some married, some committed to each other, all Female Dominant.  It’s a fertile place where your body and mind and spirit can soar.”

            i knew i was close to fulfillment, coming to the end of my journey!

Chapter 8

            We stopped at a Westside fetish store on our way out of town the following Friday and we were greeted by a gorgeous sales boy named Richie with the fullest reddest lips i’d ever seen and the kind of round bottom that makes your palms sweat.

            He led us through a room full of hardbound and paperback books, into another filled with magazines with scowling muscled men in leather pants on the covers, and into another filled with sex toys.

            Kate motioned me to the floor where i knelt assisting her with a variety of dildo harnesses of every conceivable configuration. A small group of customer’s stopped to watch and there was no shortage of advice from the crowd as i fumbled with buckles, snaps, and Velcro closures. When she finally deciding on a vacu-lock device Richie mentioned many of his Lesbian clientele raved about the model.

            Next he showed Kate a staggering assortment of polymer pricks and of different lengths, girths, and colors till she picked a formidable four. Finally with a dash of superb suggestive selling Richie pulled down a gallon of “Wet” with a staggering price tag.

“You’re going to need this,” he said to Kate then turned to me, “And you’re going to thank me baby.”

            As he walked to the register to package and record Kate’s purchase she took my hand and led me into a back room filled with far darker toys; whips and paddles, Medieval style bondage furniture and electrical gadgets meant to torment and tenderize.

            From there we entered a video rental room filled with a gaggle of early evening cruisers then into a hallway with a glass display case filled with cock-rings and ball stretchers. Another pie shaped case with five shelves held male chastity devices and i didn’t dare ask the question because the answer was too obvious. Of course she would, the real fear was if she would throw away the key.

            Finally with package in hand and my heart beating like a drum over the prospects of being raped we started off again on a beautiful warm evening drive listening to my assortment of 8 Tracks; show tunes and torchy 1930’s love songs.

            The private driveway into Stella Cadente was lined with weeping willow trees and an endless array of nude statues; reclining wide hipped Goddesses along with mythological figures; centaurs and minotaurs, seraphim and gargoyles.

            Kate laughed and pointed to a porcelain cupid adding that it resembled me except for the wings. The cupid had a ridiculously small cock and a bulbous chubby rump and when i began to pout she put her arm around me and insisted that she was just kidding.

            We found our cabin and unpacked the few items we’d brought along for the weekend then met four other couples who were there for the instruction, all confident women and men with a little fear and uncertainty in their eyes. Then our hostess and facilitator joined us with a big smile and a warm hug.

            “I’m Louise,” She announced and I’m here to help.”

            She had that kind of rare illuminating beauty that always seemed to prove the thesis that the Goddess gene exists, that tantalizing, smoldering type of beauty.

            Her face was delicate and finely boned and rested under an outrageous curly mane of brunette hair. She walked with a ballerina’s lithesome grace and held her shoulders strong and steady as a prizefighter with a strength and courage that filtered through everything She did.

            It was hard not to stare and as She moved from couple to couple and everyone’s eyes followed Her round hips and bottom, inspected Her ivory-soft thighs, even drooled a little at the strawberry-perfect nipples tipping Her tiny exquisite breasts.

             i knew we all were falling in love with Her, both women and boys.

            She explained the philosophy of the retreat and what we would be accomplishing speaking in a low soothing growl that kept everyone hanging on every word while pretty waiters served platters filled with juicy roasted fowl seasoned with fragrant Rosemary, a green salad topped with a local goat cheese, and organically grown vegetables from the lodge gardens.

            Then someone built a wood fire, someone else opened a few bottles of a heady Pinot Noir with a rich undertone of blackberries and licorice and all the men settled into the arms of their Woman to enjoy the lush softness of their bodies and listen to the forest night sounds; tree frogs and owls, even an odd haunting laugh that sounded like a hyena.

            Louise moved from couple to couple talking quietly and asking deep probing questions and we She was done with us She stood and spoke to the group.

            “We’ll meet tomorrow at an outdoor Temple, just look for the large statue of Venus. Good night.”

Chapter 9

            Kate and i slept soundly and awoke to the smell of Jamaican coffee and the sizzle of a wonderfully salty pancetta being cooked over an open fire. We joined the other four couples at a wooden picnic table covered with platters of juicy fresh melon and just-baked muffins and warm rolls accompanied by clarified butter, fresh preserves, and even a memorable honey gathered from the Queen’s hive, her own royal jelly.

            Louise joined us for breakfast and conversation then suggested we take our exercise on the grounds running trails that circled out into the woods then back again ending at a small lovely lake at the foot of the outdoor temple. We all changed quickly into shorts and t-shirts and shoes and entered the forest through an archway of the same weeping willow trees that had decorated the entry way into the park.

                        Kate led the way at a good pace over a path soft with pine needles, so soft that not a single footfall could be heard to attest to our efforts. The trees became higher and fuller as we got deeper into the woods so that the bright morning sunlight was shaded out and opulent shades of blue, green, and lavender gave the forest a dark, mysterious sense. We discovered ourselves running through a fertile lush green mansion like nothing i’d ever seen or experienced and i felt myself changing, but not changed. i felt a somewhere in-between like the millisecond before night becomes day or that elusive spot at the shoreline that seems neither sea nor sand.

                        “It’s so ripe,” i said to Kate and the others, “So full and female and beautiful,” and it seemed to me at that very moment that i was beginning to understand the power of the feminine.

                        About three and half miles later we left the forest and entered the warm bright sunlight, all of us glowing with lather in the humid morning air. The lake was shimmering and inviting so when someone shouted, “Let’s go skinny-dipping,” shorts and shoes went flying everywhere and ten of us ran like naked playful children into the cool waters.

                        We laughed and splashed with a long-forgotten joy then hugged each other tightly sharing the love and concern of kindred spirits.

                        Kate was beautiful standing opposite me.

                        i lusted for her taste.  And when she pulled back her shoulders, i reached out and cupped each little breast in my hands and began to move forward to kiss each beauty and coax the berries between my lips to feel them thicken and grow.

                        Louise’s voice startled me and when i looked to shore everyone was there waiting and smiling back at us.

                        “Hurry up,” She shouted and we waded back quickly and i soon realized all eyes were at my center and i became painfully aware that a part of me was perpendicular to the rest of me and bobbing foolishly.

                        Louise laughed and called me a rude and sassy boy the bent over a picked up a switch that was broken off from a nearby ash tree; it was about four feet long, whippy and full of sap. She handed it to Kate and i knew by the smirk on her face that she was feeling mischievous and full of fun.

                        Years ago, i had read an erotic story about a beautiful runaway Princess who was captured by Amazons and spanked back into captivity. It had been a moving, excited read and if i closed my eyes i could still envision the Princess and enjoy the sounds of the paddles kissing her lush hindquarters.

                        But that was fiction, and this was here and now, and i began to run towards the hill that led to the temple and the sight of our meeting.

                        i never had been a match for Kate, not with her superbly muscled buttocks and thighs, and she quickly caught up me. There was a swish and a thwack followed by a shrill Owwwwwww that i supplied, and gales of laughter that let me know the entire party was enjoying the chase.

                        “Good one Kate!”

                        “he deserves another!”

                        Then Louise laughing, “he’s got a bottom made for spanking, a good hard slice Kate, make him squeal.”

                        By the time i reached the crest of the hill my roundest parts were a tapestry of welts. The rapier thin rod had rapped itself around my hips with the hiss of a serpent and i stood there with my eyes lowered, rubbing my buttocks trying to desperately extinguish the fires.

                        Kate put the rod under my chin and lifted.

                        “Let them see your shame,” and i looked back into all their eyes; smirking Woman and frightened boys.

                        Louise joined in pointing to my center.

                        “What happened to that soldier, the one standing at attention so rudely at the bottom of the hill? He seems to be “at ease” now, placid and puny. ”

            Then more laughter from everyone!

Chapter 10

            The Temple was enclosed by a ring of tall ash trees, then again by alpine current shrubbery, bushy and about four feet high that formed an oval around a life sized statue of a voluptuous and naked Venus. Director’s chairs with canvas seats and backs had been placed at five strategic spots around the Goddess and formed a mystical pentagram in her honor. Louise ordered the boys to their knees and offered the chairs to the Ladies.

            On each chair was a t-shirt like the one Louise wore, white with a green Female gender symbol and the name Stella Cadente, along with a tiny pair of panties spun from the finest Egyptian cotton.

            “All gods went to their knees in the presence of Venus,” Louise began, “Mars, the god of war; Pluto, the god of the underworld; even Jupiter, King of gods.” They knew that the secrets to life lay pulsing between her legs. They knew that for men, even gods like them, the secret to life and to happiness was in bringing their lips to her center, to her wetness so that they may bring her the celebration of orgasm.

            Louise held a blood red long stemmed rose in Her hand and walked from boy to boy placed it before our eyes and under our noses so that we could appreciate the scent and the delicate folds, the beauty of it and the striking resemblance to the Female genitals.

            i looked up at the marble statue and it seemed alive and throbbing, her labia appeared engorged, thick and juicy as though she lived still and expected devotion from us all.

            We crawled back to the sides of our Woman and lowered our lips to their feet in a sweet supplication. i felt a rush of joy with my lips to Kate’ feet and my backside perched delightfully high. Oh how i loved embracing the submissive!

            Louise ordered us to sit and i wrapped my arm around Kate’s leg and felt her hand stroking my face. i took her hand in mine lowered my lips to it, to the hand that had just thrashed me, welted my rump, and shriveled my cock with fear.

            Our Facilitator began speaking in a low mesmerizing voice that coaxed us all to join in the pageant and She went from boy to boy asking intimate questions. She was shrewd and perceptive, but more than that!

As my knowledge of goddess Women grew over the ensuing decades i came to realize the Louise was a “divineress”, one of those gifted Women who by intuition, inspiration, or magic could predict the future and see into a man’s soul. She was tiny and slender-boned, gentle and beautiful, but was it not for my innocent soul and honesty that day; She may very well have whipped me into imprisonment!

When she got to me, i looked to Kate for direction and she nodded her consent and i began a sinful confession. 

            i chronicled over a decade of faceless women and long forgotten men, cheap hotel rooms and alley cat sex.

            “And now what?” Louise probed.

            “Now Kate’s kept me chaste, demanded it, and ordered it. i feel myself moving to a new sexuality, something more fulfilling, something more natural for me.”

            Louise ordered me to hands and knees with my eyes closed and my face very close to Kate’s center.

            i breathed deeply.

            “What do sense,” She asked, and i answered quickly, “The power of life, the essence of she, and the aura of the ovulating Woman.”

            And just like that i knew Mead was correct!

            Women could do without men, easily.

   Women are the substance of the universe, the givers of life!

            A man’s seed was paltry! It could be pumped from us, frozen, stored for future consumption and used with genetically determined precision.

            The secret of life was at her command, nestled in that priceless jewel, a treasure to be cherished and coveted.

She was Goddess and i at best just a groveling animal. i needed her guidance to bring me to productivity and give me direction. i was finally realizing how i’d stumbled through life until this very moment.

“How long have you been chaste?” Louise asked.

“About three months, i think.”

Kate joined in. “It will be three months exactly at nine thirty tonight when the full moon is high in the sky and we celebrate the spring solstice.”

i could almost feel a pagan thrill with her words.

“Tonight we’ll start a new journey for you,” She continued, “A journey to a new potent sexual release for you.”

“Open your eyes,” Louise said.

i felt a strange tremor. It seemed my heart was beating in triple time and my arteries were wide open tunnels allowing my blood to surge to my extremities like never before. When i looked down my cock was longer and thicker than ever in my life and a benign smile spread over my face.

i looked at Louise, than at Kate.

“i never felt it, never felt it grow, it’s as though it no longer matters, all that matters is what pleasures i can bring to you Kate.”

Louise addressed us all.

“By this evening you will all be totally frilled, femmed, gurly. Most all remains of maleness will be gone. Some of our more militant factions are proponents of castration and believe all males were meant to be sexless worker drones. your Women are more moderate and believe in a program based on un-gendering, poking the male away so to speak.”

The women all giggled and the boys looked nervous.

Before we had left the cabin that morning, i noticed an old-fashioned clothes tree in the hallway where Kate had slung her loaded harnesses much as an old west lawman hung his holster and pistol.

i had no doubts about what lay in store for us!

Chapter 11

            Later that afternoon all the boys were given a new grooming while the Woman made small talk and drank tea. Louise supervised my grooming Herself following the dictates that Kate had made known to Her.

            i was given a citrus purging, a delicate tangerine enema that brought me a feeling of such devout freshness that i was overwhelmed. my body, though, smooth was shaved again and scrubbed with soaps and sponges.

            Louise ordered my legs lightly massaged with warm oil that made my limbs shimmer. She tested my inner thigh by running Her hand from my knee to very close to my center, and then pinched it approvingly. A lemon yellow chemise was pulled over my head and for the first time in my life i felt the erotic scratch of Indian silk against my nipples.

            i stepped into a matching pair of briefs cut very high at the thigh and equipped with a naughty slit at the back that left little to the imagination as to its design. Louise led me out onto the patio where the other “boys” were already on parade to a chorus of catcalls and whistles. i was breathless with excitement.

            Champagne was served and a toast made to the new “us” and i remember giggling like a silly twit as the bubbles from the wine bounced against my face. By the time Kate and i returned to our cabin, the sun had set and we were consumed with passion. She had led me back with a possessive hand on my derriere, the way she still does to this day when we enter a crowded restaurant or bar, hand that claimed ownership.

            Someone had placed and lit hundreds of small white candles throughout our room giving it a shimmering glow like i’d seen in some old cathedrals.  Kate took me tightly in her arms and gave me a rough open-mouthed kiss that took my breath away.

            Her hands, her hot hands were all over me, prodding and pinching, clutching my derriere and kneading my breasts. i was weak kneed, breathless.

            “Get your precious little hips on that bed,” she demanded while pointing to the two pillows that lay stacked one on top of the other two thirds of the way down the queen-sized mattress.

            As i settled in on my tummy, i watched her step into her harness through the reflection in the bed’s mirrored headboard. She had that wry smile on her face as she greased the rubber cock then shocked me with a cold greasy finger.

            “What a superb little rose-bud," she said, “I’d been planning this since the moment we met, and now it is mine to own forever, there nice and wet now, sweetly moist!"

            Kate let me savor the moment. “Let yourself go baby, I like a lot of squirming and squealing.”

            She moved maddeningly slow, glacier slow, with the thick knob of her cock.

            “It hurts Kate, it hurts so!”

            “Embrace the hurt baby; it’s the portal to your new sexuality, your new release.”

            Kate leaned forward and whispered in my ear; “you look so cute baby, and i’m having soo much fun!”

            She stopped for a moment to let me catch my breath, then pushed deeper and deeper with the strength of her wide woman’s hips.

            i don’t know how else to say this, but as the cock filled me, stretched me, i felt a stirring in my soul. i know now it was the radical change i’d dreamed about, the beginning of my journey from man to male lesbian and the purging of all that society had assigned to me, those gender traits that were never really a part of my being.

Suddenly a thousand little nerve endings were awaked and like those candles in the room began to flicker and spark. A felt the man leaving my body, the man that never was and then another stirring, a gentle feminine stirring and then Ohhhhh.

            Kate’s cock had touched something in me, a glorious little place that caused moans and trembles.

            “Darling,” i sighed and she quickened her pace, began delivering a hard brutal pounding.

            It was all so wonderfully new. i squirmed and dribbled; i oozed and dripped, drizzled till I was limp as a rag doll.  My little panties were soaked, ruined, but i didn’t care. i moaned and felt my knees wobble and my hips quiver

            “Kate, how could i have been so stupid all those years, chasing my silly cock and living for those silly little squirts, when all the time i could have had this, Ohhhh!”

            i looked at the mirror and realized that Kate was stationary and watching her cock disappear and re-appear in my tiny channel. my hips were rocking and buttocks quaking, she laughed, it would be what became known as my “slut’s dance” the rest of our lives. And just when i thought i’d loose consciousness, when i was headed for some foggy nowhere, she flipped me over, spread my legs, and found my P-spot from another angle.

            Kate lowered her head and bit my nipples till i screamed, and still the gurly waves continued endlessly like the slap of the ocean on the shore. When i shouted stop or you’ll kill me, she flipped me again, on my side, she spooned me. No more thrusts now, just a delicious grinding that made her moan too, brought her celebration.

            She squeezed her hand between our bodies then brought it to my nose, to my lips for me suck.

            i fell asleep that night with the taste of Goddess in my mouth and her cock still nestled deep inside me.

            Kate let me sleep late the next morning and when i awoke she was standing close to me with an offer of green tea.

            i reached behind with my hands expecting myself to be wet and gaping but the tiny passage had returned to normal, dark and secretive.

            “Oh baby, i’m spent, feeling so nicely used, will my pussy always be so sore Kate?”

            She laughed, “I hope so!”

Chapter 12

            On our way out of Stella Cadente that morning Kate stopped the car to watch three naked boys running across a large open field thick with grass and wild flowers. Their muscled pretty bodies were covered with sweat and their eyes filled with terror. Then we saw Louise on horseback in snug britches and high boots waiving a lariat around Her head and laughing madly. She blew us a kiss then smacked the gelding’s rump and rode off in hot pursuit.

            “Poor darlings,” i said, “What chance do they have?” and Kate laughed, “What chances do any of you have?”

            We arrived home and i fully expected my life to be picture perfect after that but was in for a big surprise.

            Kate didn’t touch me that night, or the night after that even when i softened myself with a delicious bubble bath and strutted around in a racy tank-top and hot pants ensemble.

            She came home every day after work, changed into jeans and t-shirt, then wrapped that sexy little tool belt around her waist and began hammering, and drilling, and doing all those cute Butch things.

            A day passed, and then another, and then it had been a week since she took me, claimed me. i became sullen, pouty, and maybe even a little bitchy.

            Wouldn’t you?

            Kate had opened a glorious new sexuality to me and now turned away from me without even a pat or a pinch.

            She taunted me,” What’s wrong Mary, wrong time of month, hormone problems?”

            i spat out a vindictive: “Fuck you Kate,” i said “How could you know what i’m going through. Banged me once and now i’m soiled, just another piece of ass is that it?”

            She quietly left the room and returned in a moment locking the door behind her. “you spoiled brat, you fucking little spoiled brat.”

            It was then i noticed the paddle in her hand and realized it was time for that monumental ass-whipping that would shackle me to her forever.

            i guess i could have fought, but shit, i didn’t dare!

            i was over her lap quickly and the first volley landed, three loud Cracks.

            A wave of heat moved through my hind quarters like a forest fire. She landed another volley this time with a grunt behind each smack the way female tennis players do to let their opponents know what power is behind the serve; Ugh, Ugh, Ugh.

            My legs kicked but she held me tightly. i began a litany of things i’d do, and things i’d never do. Pleas and promises and “Oh Kate, what a good gurl i’ll be, you’ll see if only…" Crack, Crack, Crack.

            When she finally pushed me off her lap, i cradled my rump with both hands. my soft flesh had a new texture, rough and crinkly, and the swelling was horrid. Huge tears rolled down my cheeks and made seeing her difficult but when i did see her i knew that now it was defined, defined for eternity: Kate as Ruler, me as ruled.

            i’d been told repeatedly that her pleasure was supreme and mine was a desirable by-product at best. Of course i’d thought only about my thingy in the beginning but not I realized it meant my pussy too. It was about what was between her legs, not mine!

            She removed her panties and cradled my head with her hands then pulled me forward.

            i felt light, as weightless as a hovering humming bird and wondered if that tiny beast could enjoy the beauty of the flower or was just hungry for its sugar, the nectar solution that was life sustaining. My heart beat in rhythm to the imaginary bird’s wings; 120, 160, 200 beats per second as i lowered myself to Her furrow to seek the pollen that would sustain me.

            my months of tutelage had been well spent. While Kate had confined my efforts to my fingers, my soft gurly fingers, i had learned an intimate knowledge of her geography. i knew every fold, every bump and ridge, every pleasure spot to the tiniest degree, and as i began my adoration i could sense the muscles in her long legs begin to bulge and her back start to arch.

            i started slowly, glacier slow like she did when she fucked me with her precious cock, with my tongue wetting her already wet lips, probing the channel between, moving up and down but stopping short of her thickening clitoris.

            My folded tongue pushed into her entrance past hot pulsing muscle and Kate moans as that familiar burning sensation spreads through her insides, through her abdomen and pelvis. i pull back to catch my breath for just a second and smile at the sight of her clitoris poking out from under its little hood, stiff and erect.

            She cried, “please baby,” can you imagine, A Goddess, “please baby?”

            i became that humming bird. She panted. i fluttered faster and faster, never breaking intimate contact, her hips bucked and she wrapped her thighs around me tightly. Kate’s hips arched and i cupped her buttocks in my hands lifted her.

            Now Kate was shuddering with sweet release, soaring higher, and i was smiling, full of myself and proud of my efforts.

            “you’re killing me,” Kate shouted.

            i spanked her clitoris with my tongue, gave her a spanking to remember just as she had branded my rump with her paddle, then one last final wail and she squeezed my neck so hard i feared death.

            When she lay limp, ragged, struggling for air, i finished by cleaning her with my tongue, gathering her syrup, even the tiny pool that had gathered at her anus. While there i couldn’t resist piercing that tiny temple with my tongue and she shuddered again with another little triumph.

            i washed her with hot water and rose-scented soap then patted her dry.

            She looked like a big beautiful Celtic cat all rolled up like that and i snuggled in behind her and wrapped both arms around her. i moved my hands between her legs again with a wet finger and found her clitoris now lazy and limp. i tapped it three times, very slowly and very softly with a lover’s language that i knew she would speak.

            i……..love……..you!

      .