Dear Mistress

Words cannot describe my gratitude for You taking Your valuable time to train me yet again and i would like to apologize for stopping the training in March since at that point we had come a long way. Also many, many thanks for allowing me the privilege of release since i know that release is a privilege that You totally control and a right that i have given up. You are without a doubt the most kind, understanding and beautiful Mistress a slave could hope for. A few thoughts about the first week.

1) Transition from unchecked male back to chastity slave was very difficult since as i indicated to you i was releasing at least once a day to sometimes more. So when i received Your schedule and was told not to even touch it, of course that is what i wanted to do and not knowing when my next release date was made it hard to adjust back to under Your wonderful guidance. But of course, i adjusted and submitted.

2) Equipment failure. As per Your orders i placed myself in the cb-2000 on Friday when i got home from work and the next morning the cage from the cb-2000 simply broke from the ring. i was dumbfounded. So i placed myself into Lori's tube, but decided to use the plastic testy ring instead of the metal ring since it is a pain in the ass to lock the metal testy ring in place. So i used the plastic lock for the testy ring and metal for the fernum lock and after my Sunday ride i carefully drilled out the hole on the plastic testy ring so a small lock would fit. i then took a piece of electrical tape and rapped it around the lock so it would not scratch the device since the lock sways and hits the device when i'am naked. i believe You will find this set up more pleasing visually and it is easier to operate, besides it is the fernum lock that counts. i hopefully will You show this next time you are up. anyway should i buy another cb-2000, to replace just the cage is 60.00. i will await Your decision on this matter

3) i'am still completely blown away by the over powering feelings i get when i'am in chastity. The intense feelings of submission i feel towards You washes over me like a tidal wave when i reflect on how i have submitted to You a thing that males measure themselves on, identify with, their most prized possession, judge their self worth, directly related to their self-image and not to mention intensely connected to their fragile ego, it overwhelms me to think i have given my sexuality over to You and that you not only accept it but relish it and appreciate it. those feelings of submission to you are deep and i get a rush to be able to go to a deeper level of submission with you on a daily basis and not just play. i believe i could live in that lifestyle with Your firm hand and strict guidance. i know if (when) i actually become Your houseboy that You have the tools to make my submission to you complete. Again the most intense time occurs when i cannot get erect, that inability to have a natural body function taken away blows my mind. Chastity is difficult without a device, but in one steps it up a thousand times.

4) Some things i believe that You might find amusing and may incorporate into my training activities. Quite time -i have found that when i'am overcome by these feelings of submission to You that i kneel naked in front of my bathroom doors (in my bathroom there are a whole wall of mirrored doors) and place handcuffs on my hands behind me and look at myself in the mirror and reflect on my status and my submission to You (wish i had i picture of You to look at). It gets intense when i see the chastity device and what it means and i picture You next to me reinforcing those concepts. What happens is that i start to get excited which causes the device to work very effectively and to bring home my status. i then found out that if i rock my hips back and forth the device will slap up and down causing some stimulation that only increases my utter frustration. i then picture You ordering me to get on all fours and mimic the motion, a male does when he is involved in intercourse (from behind) which again makes the device slap up and down causing the stimulation. You tell me since i cannot have intercourse anymore that is as close as i can get, of course, You are at this point totally laughing at this lewd exhibit of Your slave in chastity humping the air. The image of me humping the air with device on and the intense consequences are mind blowing. Besides, i only do this for a short period since it becomes to intense, i cannot imagine being made to do that for an extended period but that is not my call. So FYI, for You to have more ammunition to dominate me. Sorry, i babbled on; but, i hope this amuses You. Thank You a thousand times for being my Mistress and for training me.

P.S. nice touch ordering me back in chastity after release. Also i assume that no privileges means no touching or stroking, etc.

To replace the whole package (so to speak) the cb-2000 will cost 129 plus shipping. If i buy it from keptforher.com, they throw in a device that prevents the ability to pull it out. Yes, i do have a job, serving YOU. Anyway i'am honored that You will share my journey as Your chastity slave with others. As far as the dark story goes i'am in the process of re-writing it so you can actually read it. As i indicated to You, it really frightens me that i write these things and what is even more frightening is what You said to me the other day, something to the effect that eventually i will break through all my limits. i know deep down that will be true but only with Your strict hand and guidance. To actually submit to the things i think about right after release would be a true test of my submission to You. Only You would be able to set the right stage for these things to happen since You know how my (as You say) silly mind works. We will see. i will as always eagerly await your call.

The sight i referred to is keptforher.com, one of many chastity sites i have seen. Be careful what you wish for since being at Your whim would be little bit of heaven for me. i'am very anxious to give You the story as well as scared since to me it opens a Pandora’s box of deep, dark intense submissive feelings that i'am willing to explore (gulp) in the right context and knowing You that's what will eventually happen. To have no limits in my submission to You would be very difficult, yet inviting. The classic conflict within myself as usual. Oh well, You know me too well anyway which is both a blessing and a curse. What will happen will happen. i completely adore You for being who You are.

Thank You again for the privilege of release and will always await Your instructions patiently since i have learned before that this training is on Your schedule which means there is no need for an apology, but gratitude from me for You taking Your valuable time to train me. i do have a question regarding Your instructions. Last week You ordered me locked down thru Sunday. Does that mean till Sunday night or till Monday morning. Either way i remained in chastity till Monday night but will of course follow Your recent orders concerning the issue of times when You cannot send the schedule on Monday morning. Regarding week two, it has been very, very difficult to adjust still since i have no privileges and lock down periods have been extremely hard or lack there of. Again i go from releasing once a day and looking at Femdom material to nothing each day with the hope of release of now once per week if You are gracious enough to allow that privilege. This last week i went to far in my quite time (humping the air) since i did that a number of times to get a little stimulation and of course my erections were stunted and caused me that sweet frustration only a chastity slave knows. The crushing psychological effects of not being to get erect are devastating and brings home Your domination of me and the challenge to truly submit. This facet of chastity is the most difficult since it is a catch 22. i enjoy being locked up since it gives me the feeling of being submissive to You and really puts me my place and yet i want to rip it off and release in the worst way. To complicate this frustration i go and hump the air which causes me to get excited and the device does its dirty work. i guess doing that a couple times would be ok but by Sunday i had for a long time a very bad case of blue balls which caused me a great deal of discomfort and soreness which caused me to have one the worst bike rides of the summer. Guys i usually beat the snot out of killed me. Guys asked what was wrong and i could not say i over did it in chastity. Anyway i learned my lesson and thank You for permitting to be unlocked for my bike rides since being unlocked for those few hours helped the discomfort and soreness to go away. It was really bad since i had cramps up to my belly. i chalk this up to the transition period i'am going thru and the adjustment i have to make in my life when i'am submitting to Your authority. If i do not think about my appendage and my status (Your slave) then the chastity device has no effect on me; but if i start to think about submitting to You to this degree and i look down and see my appendage locked up the device has its intended effect. It is very difficult not think about it when there is a constant and i mean constant reminder of Your dominance over me. If i go about my daily routine and i'am busy no problem, but then i do think about my status and situation and i suffer. The psychological impact is devastating. So i struggle with myself on a daily basis, especially when i'am locked up; but from past experiences i know with Your firm hand i will level out as we progress. i hope that this amuses You and as always,

i have a question for You. According to the chastity contract section IV paragraph 10 states, that if i fail to release on the time ordered then i loose that privilege and must wait until i'am granted that privilege again. So my question is 1) is the contract in effect, 2) if not is that a rule that i operate by during this training process? i almost did not have the time to release yesterday but did finally and was wondering what the consequences are if i'am unable to release when ordered. Also i will provide You with, if you want my weekly report of release. Last night, i was not only plugged but had a cord tied to the pipe under the sink stretching my balls, while kneeling in front of the mirror. Just for kicks attached some nipple clamps and after a very difficult week had a very intense release. Thank You for that privilege and await your ruling on this issue.

Thank You for the this week's assignment, however i have a question. You ordered chastity Friday thru Monday, with Friday and Saturday being free ball days. Does that mean i'am not in the device those two days followed up with being locked up the next two. i'am sorry to bother You but i want to make sure i'am following Your orders correctly. i will now update you on week three. Still struggling greatly with submitting myself, since this time around i feel fired up all the time i'am locked up and my thoughts turn towards You. i 'am also getting scared since i played golf and went to a big chill party with old college friends all locked up. i'am doing all sorts of daily activities in chastity and getting used to it which scares me. Also i got a really good buzz at the party and some ladies that i have not seen in a awhile and way back when shacked up with them. i must admit that i flirted with them and they loved it and we had a really good time. BUT, the device put me in my place the whole night. The only thing i can say is that i would be unable to chase skirts when i'am in chastity and not for the obvious reason (unable to close the deal), but also the way it makes me feel. i don't feel very macho at all and i tend to get very timid which is the exact opposite of my persona. To the outside world i'am an alpha male, heck my cycling buddies call me macho man, but when i'am under Your strict hand and i'am locked up my persona changes dramatically and i don't feel like the confident male that i i'am and that i would be otherwise. i often wonder how many males could do what i'am doing, because it goes against every thing we had been socialized to do. i believe it takes a strong male to be vulnerable and to submit and to give up something so intense as their sexuality, but it is very difficult. i'am blessed that You have agreed to be not only my Mistress and key holder, but to allow me to actually be Your slave in the real sense. so i'am having all these conflicting emotions that scares me, excites me, gives me peace, overwhelms me. i like to locked up and hate it at the same time, lets me focus better and then is a distraction. But at the end of the day i sincerely am proud to be Your slave and to serve and submit and i'am lucky to find a WOMAN like You to be with during this journey to find myself. Hope You are amused and will report my releases as instructed.

A few other things. Today i went to see my shrink in chastity, that's a first. i did tell him i started to submit to You again, but not in detail. Also the releases each day this week, i assume that Femdom material is still not allowed unless You specify that it is. That was the protocol before and again just want make sure on the rules. Many, many thanks for allowing me the privilege to release this week and giving me the chance to release more than once. It was getting and still is difficult adjusting to the fact of not even being able to touch it since before when i would release whenever i wanted, i would stroke for long periods before release. Now, for example, the last 3 weeks i have only touched it for a total of 20 minutes, which blows my mind when i think out it. This transition period seems more challenging than before and i don't know why, but i'am still following Your assignments to the letter since i would only be cheating myself and wasting Your precious time if i did not. i also was thinking of naming the Lori's chastity device, since i named one the iron horse and the cb was just the cb. i was thinking of referring to it as lock down, since that what it is. What do You think? It feels like someone (You) has grabbed my appendage in a tight gripe since the tube is not that wide. The testy ring feels the same as if someone has grabbed my balls tightly. When i'am busy i do not notice it as much, but be rest assured it is a CONSTANT reminder of my submission to You. Which is i think is the intended result anyway thanks for listening to my ramblings.

As instructed i'am informing You of my release. i tied my balls with a cord (they were very tender) and put clothes pins on each nipple and two each on the area between my tied up balls and the base of my appendage. As ordered i worked up to 10 minutes, kneeled naked in front of the mirror and had a very intense release. Thank You for the privilege and i can say after four strait days locked up it felt good to be not confined after release. Like i said before, this training seems more difficult than before, or maybe i just need more time to adjust. Anyway thanks for the down time each week, it is very much appreciated, since i know You could impose even stricter conditions. Funny after release my submissive attitude wanes, but after about an hour, i'am right back in the game.

Nice picture; i believe that device is called the hobbler for obvious reasons. Clearly one could do very little in that device. Per Your orders, i'am reporting my Wednesday release. i separated and tied each testicle and then rapped the remaining cord around the base of the appendage before getting hard. i then took a small string and tied it just underneath the head and then a single strand over the pee hole. During the day i did some interval training and stroked for two fifteen minute intervals, once in the morning and once at lunch. When i got home from work i prepared myself as explained above and knelt naked in front of the mirror and worked up to ten minutes and had another intense release. i was amazed at the amount since, i just released the day before.

i would be honored for You to test that device out on me, i just don't know how much housework i could get done with that device attached. i guess it would be fun to try and find out. At least fun for You. Regarding my Thursday release. i placed myself in ball bondage connected to the pipe under the sink which has the effect of stretching the balls when one would move forward and the cord also keeps the plug from falling out. i also placed clothes pins on each nipple and as instructed worked up to ten minutes and then had another intense release. Again amazed at the amount. Thank You many times over for allowing me to release multiple times this week. It was a treat that i 'am grateful for; but, i know in the back of my mind and i know how You are that there is always a quid pro quo. Anyway, i look forward to seeing You next week and i will bring all the necessary things to get the job done. i strive to serve You the best that i can such as my situation allows. Again thank You for Your kindness in my life.

Dearest Mistress

Only thing i can say is wooooooooooow!!!! i'am honored and humbled that you would share with me a photo that demonstrates the beauty of your femininity. You know what kind of effect that has on me and oh boy did it work. i can't believe how lucky i'am to have such a beautiful Mistress both inside and outside. The picture illustrates how your inner beauty manifests itself outwardly and shines throughout and radiates around you. The picture reminds me of those classic paintings that are classy and very tasteful and the pose is phenomenal. i wonder what you were thinking about when it was taken since your expression is priceless. Just awesome. i will treasure not only the physical aspect but also in the vein in which it was given. i realize even more why i humble myself before You. You truly are a Goddess and embody what it means to be a WOMAN. Please take my words as sincere and not to kiss your derriere which i will beg for this weekend. i could only hope to be lucky enough to be granted that honor. i do have a couple questions as i sit here with my balls tied off as you instructed. When you say tie off my (Your) cock and or my entire package, do You mean the whole shaft or just around the head or base of the shaft since to stroke it with cord or rope around the whole shaft may defeat your intended purposes since i believe that by Saturday You will effectively have me literally in the palm of Your hand and ready to be at your complete disposal. i can only imagine and fear the effects of such an intense (thank You) training regimen will have on my submissive attitude while in your direct service. Forgive my ignorance, in regards to Your orders, for i wish to make sure to follow them correctly. my gratitude for Your kindness overwhelms me and the only thing i can say is that i strive with all my heart to serve and please You to demonstrate my complete devotion to You. Thank You. love slave james....p.s. could You call me sometime i have an issue and i would like to have Your viewpoint on how to approach it?

Please forgot my stupid questions concerning what You meant by tying off my (Your) entire package. i know You mean tie off between my body and my appendage. i realized this when You referred to a cock ring, which by the way i will wear the one that has engraved "property of MLD" since now it is really true. i was discombobulated after You sent me that diabolical program with the photo and Your reference to me actually having a chance as You put it "kiss your naked ass". i got all light headed and confused, You know how You effect me sometimes. love slave james